Beauty is an interesting phenomenon. The standard has consistently evolved over the years. Women are largely expected to conform to what the mainstream views as acceptable. Take for example Alicia Keys. In 2016 she stunned the world when she decided to go makeup free on her album cover. Her self inflicted No Makeup Movement grabbed the attention of major headlines for weeks! She authentically braved several high profile appearances without pounds of foundation, eye liner, blush, powder, highlighter, face primer, mascara, eye shadow, lip liner, lip gloss, eye lashes, and more. That takes courage. I'm talking some truly courageous stuff inside and out. She inspired other high profile celebrities to go without makeup, thought pieces on the topic was part of almost every blog, and social media went wild. Three years after her big debut, she is still makeup free.
Michele Obama's 2009 official White House portrait showed her meticulously toned arms and folks had a field day. How DARE she do such a thing? The press literally dissected every inch of Mrs. O's style and body. Even her bangs became a topic of conversation. She wasn't alone. Hillary Clinton's pant suits was up for debate. Gabourey Sidibe has had to deal with fat-shamers, while Viola Davis rocked the headlines when she snatched off her wig, ripped the eyelashes off, and wiped away her makeup ON NATIONAL TV! Each of these women recognize and have had to contend with the mainstream standard of beauty. And each of them are so damn unapologetic.
It has taken me some time to have enough self-confidence to do my own thing. Like it or not, no matter what you wear or how much makeup you put on, people want to see and know who YOU are. I started wearing makeup in 2015. It began when I interviewed for my second dean position, and I have never looked back. Instead of covering up who I am, I wear makeup to enhance my features instead of hiding them. Honestly, I enjoy wearing makeup at least during the week, while taking a break on the weekends. Sorry, Alicia, some of us won't go makeup free, but I support what you are doing 100%.
Besides the makeup, it did not take long for me to realize that I hated wearing stuffy blue and black suits. I find them boring and overly traditional. Heels make my feet hurt. No matter the size or the cost, I cannot imagine walking around campus on concrete in heels all freaking day. The closest I will get to heels is a sleek pair of black boots when the seasons change. If I must wear a suit, I may wear one of Isiah's ties to add a little spice.
I enjoy my life without beauty salons and barber shops. While in Houston, I used to fly to Milwaukee to get my dreadlocks tightened. Seriously. Spirit Airlines had amazing one day deals that did not break the bank. It did not take long for me to get tired of that too. When I had my locks, TSA would always search me in the airport, no matter the circumstance. Or people wondered when I would get them cut. Now that I don't have hair, it is still a problem for some.
I've had seasoned presidents and upper level administrators tell me to not wear my tennis shoes or glitter nails. It is not presidential. In honor of receiving such sage advice, I wore my glitter Kate Spade Keds with the matching glitter nails on my first day as a president. You're welcome.
Colleagues would have coffee room conversations with their direct reports about the way I dressed. Like the time I wore a sequined skirt to campus with a suit jacket. That apparently made some folks upset because I stayed away from the stuffy blue and black suits with the white shirt. When I interviewed for my current position, I wore a black dress, but I found a tweed jacket (thanks, WHBM) in school colors with a hint of sparkle. I was determined to find a way to let the true Daria come out to play while conforming to the standards of professionalism.
I remain optimistic when I come across extraordinary women like Dallas County Judge Amber Givens-Davis and her response to criticism over her shaved hairstyle. Quoting an article from Fox 4, she said "I don't separate my person from my job. But it just so happens that my person is being highlighted because of the audacity that I have to be myself." When I see these examples, it provides a little more inspiration for me when I walk into the closet in the morning and when I stand in the mirror to highlight my naturally beautiful features. So, I wear a pearl necklace without pearl earrings. I may wear my novelty jewelry pieces that features a fox, dog, pig, rabbit, or owl depending on my mood. I grab the clippers and cut my hair as low as I can go. No, I don't have cancer. I'm just sick and tired of people telling me what to do and how to look. If and when I decide to grow my hair again, it will be my decision.
When you start to put on the layers and hide who you truly are, hiring committees, your constituents, family, friends, and colleagues will see your unauthentic self coming a mile away.
As Oscar Wilde once said, "Be YOURSELF. Everyone else is already taken."
Betty Cobbs (Saturday, 25 July 2020 23:53)
Daria,
You have navigated through your first year beautifully. Keep up your head up, you are doing the right work. EvCC is in good hands under your leadership. BRAVO!!
Mrs. Green (Saturday, 25 July 2020 15:18)
Profound and thoughtful. I felt the joy and the pain in your words. I also feel the hope that the brighter day is coming. Stay on the path toward the light. You’re made for this moment and equipped to lead while following.
Nichole (Saturday, 25 July 2020 13:38)
We have never met, however, I am a virtual mentee unknowingly to you! You are just so dope and an inspiration to everyone. You inspire me to keep pushing!!! Thank you for sharing your story and for your transparency! I pray your strength on this journey! Love and blessings!!!
“It’s all about strategy and patience. It’s okay to lose the battle if you want to win the war. Build relationships and keep it moving.”
Sheri Rowland (Saturday, 25 July 2020 10:58)
Thank you for being “real” and sharing your experiences in such a way to bring hope and encouragement for all of us who hope to follow in your footsteps one day as a college president. We all need to hear truth and be willing to join together to support one another in times of crises and in times of celebration!
Evans Akpo (Tuesday, 03 March 2020 08:05)
Thanks for sharing. It is very inspiring.
Lauren Cross (Saturday, 29 February 2020)
Such an inspirational read!
Ann J (Thursday, 27 February 2020 11:34)
Beautifully written, you're definitely following the right path....
Shawnda Navarro Floyd (Tuesday, 25 February 2020 18:46)
Wisdom! Thank you for teaching as you lead and inspiring us all along the way!
Celeste Africa (Tuesday, 25 February 2020 09:38)
Wow what an honour to have met you here in George South Africa.
Such a humble and inspiring human being.
Will surely follow up on our discussion for further studies for my son.
LeNoraD (Saturday, 01 February 2020 19:38)
Congratulations Dr. Willis on your Presidency and first 100 days. Your leadership and accomplishments are an inspiration. I am happy to see you also making time to fill your cup. I was blessed to make it to Ghana last year. You. Need. To. Make. The. Trip. As you have probably heard, it will change your life. All the best.
Christopher (Wednesday, 13 November 2019 19:09)
Dope insight. Inspiring and authentic!
Kayla (Wednesday, 23 October 2019 21:27)
Thank you for sharing your journey as president thus far. Great advice; I saved this post as a reminder.
Crystal Banks (Tuesday, 22 October 2019 22:41)
Great reflection! I am so happy that you are willing to share your experience with others. Looking forward to your next 100 days! Happy birthday
Michael Santana (Tuesday, 22 October 2019 14:53)
You are such an inspiration to individuals aspiring to reach their goals and dreams. Someone very close to me works in higher education as well and they are constantly dealing with daily decisions that are pivotal. Thank you for sharing...
Dr. Terry (Tuesday, 22 October 2019 12:25)
Excellent insight. Thank you for sharing!
Tammy Reichelt (Tuesday, 22 October 2019 05:49)
Congratulations on your first 100 days and Happy Birthday! This is a great blog post and provides valuable tips for those seeking a presidency. I hope you can join us at share your experience at our next Future President’s Institute.
Merrill Irving Jr. (Monday, 21 October 2019 15:53)
You continue to inspire, lead and LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE! Thank you for the wisdom wrapped in SWAGG.
Kim Ingram (Monday, 21 October 2019 10:42)
Great blog post. It seems that you understand work-life balance which is very important. You have a tough job but you still seem to find time to do the things that you love. I look forward to other blog posts that will inspire me to keep fighting in higher education and fulfilling my dreams.
Jeri (Sunday, 20 October 2019 14:32)
You are doing a great job!!
Nicole Oglesby (Saturday, 19 October 2019 22:33)
Thank you for sharing! Your honesty and truth were appreciated. I pray that I am blessed to have the opportunity to become a college president!
Your a role model for Black women in higher education! Wishing you continued success!
Ski (Saturday, 19 October 2019 07:18)
Good reminders even for those of us who have been privileged to serve in these roles for 2,800 days!
Anthony Parker-Gills (Friday, 18 October 2019 07:07)
I really enjoyed reading your blog you provided some great advice/tips. Keep up the good work.
Patricia Washington (Thursday, 17 October 2019 13:51)
You are amazing and thank you for your inspiration!
Alette Stevens (Wednesday, 16 October 2019 13:33)
Happy birthday! It's an honor to be acquainted with you. Through our conversation and your blog, I am learning so much about the nuts and bolts of leadership. Thank you for taking the time to share.
Tony J (Wednesday, 16 October 2019 02:26)
The bomb! The level of transparency puts you on another level! Love it and you! About Ghanna, share those dates!
Isiah Brown (Sunday, 08 September 2019 02:11)
Great inspirational message! Keep moving forward!!!!
Joyce Boatright (Sunday, 11 August 2019 11:37)
You are an inspiration to us all. Keep on keeping it real.
James (Wednesday, 07 August 2019 19:42)
The struggle for self care is real. Especially when you have a family. I recall when my partner and I had legal custody of my great nephew from 2nd to 5th grade. It was an unexpected addition to our new relationship (1.5 years at that point) and now all of a sudden we had a kid in the house and it was a growing family. I never truly understood the parent challenge of finding time for oneself or ability to exercise until i had my nephew in the house. All of a sudden, i found it hard to be in the gym after work knowing my nephew was at home and perhaps needed me. Or I would be in a panic if i didn't talk with him on the phone after he was released from school, and I felt as though i needed to get home quickly. As you would imagine, i would hurry home only to find that he was fine and my partner was napping on the sofa. Although i knew that i would be ok if i did go to the gym, a guilt like feeling always hindered me from feeling like it was ok not to be home. Similar to you, i purchased an in home elliptical and was able to work out at home. Regarding snacks: I keep almonds, fruit, Belvita wafers, almond butter, and trail mix in my lunch bag and stored in my work desk at all times. When i need a snack, i have it ready. One of my frustrations is being hungry and out hunting for something to eat either on the road or at a vending machine. I suggest to keep the snacks around you and do eat them, before you actually get hungry. This way you stay in front of it, rather than trying to satisfying it in a hurry. Also, drink lots of water.
Tonjua Williams (Wednesday, 07 August 2019 19:38)
Excellent article
Lynda Batiste (Wednesday, 07 August 2019 19:05)
Awesome read. The struggle is real. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone.
Tiffany Williams (Wednesday, 07 August 2019 11:15)
I can relate 120%. With life's stresses and being busy with family and work, it became so easy to fall into a slump. Trying to find the time to take care of myself and go to the gym, there's just not enough time in the day! I felt defeated with no convenient way to incorporate exercise into my day and the pounds continued to pile on along with knee and back pain... That is until I saw one of your blog posts with a photo of a Peloton. So I did some research! Comparing the price of a gym membership + childcare, even cycling club memberships + childcare. Peloton was still less expensive and offered so much more value. Within a couple days I ended up ordering my own Peloton, the Essentials Package. It arrives next week and I am super excited to be able to finally focus on me and living a healthier lifestyle. As always, you're inspiring and thank you so much for sharing you, the real you! It's great to know I'm not the only one conquering life's challenges.
Rosie RC (Wednesday, 07 August 2019 09:49)
Love this post, and thanks for helping to normalize our body images by being so up front about weight and weight gain. I'm in the same boat as you, post baby weight gain + stress + travel except I had the milestone of STARTING blood pressure meds when I turned 40. Your post is a great reminder to maintain my daily intention of wellness. I'm responding from MY hotel room, so I'll see you at that buffet line later today. �
Dwight (Wednesday, 31 July 2019 16:13)
All that glitters is gold. You go, Prez!
Dwight (Wednesday, 31 July 2019 16:09)
Hi President Daria, best to you and everyone there.
Dwight@OCC
Lynda Batiste (Monday, 22 July 2019 10:13)
So refreshing to read your blog. Keeping it 100%, some make it difficult. So glad to know I’m not alone.
Continue to inspire Doc. Clearly the time has arrived.
Take care
T Askey (Sunday, 21 July 2019 22:28)
I'm loving your blogs and this is my favorite so far. I loved your shoes they always put a smile on my face. My favorite are the Taxi heels. Love you and please keep being true to yourself.
Donyel Hill (Sunday, 21 July 2019 20:52)
I admire you being you. Keep being the beacon of lite for others to see!
LaShanda Owens (Sunday, 21 July 2019 20:06)
I would like to follow your blog.
Brenda Rivera (Sunday, 21 July 2019 19:42)
How can I give this 1 thumbs up?? I love this! Bring your beauty and authenticity to the world!
Linda Satterfield (Sunday, 21 July 2019 18:35)
Daring
Amazing
Refreshing
Incredible
Awesome
That's Daria
Bennie Joe & Karen Paige (Wednesday, 17 July 2019 22:33)
We are so very proud of you and all that you have accomplished. Many years ago we both knew that you were destined for greatness. Love you much�
Brenda Barros Rivera (Sunday, 14 July 2019 20:23)
Great insight and I love how you generously share about your own experience to illustrate your points. I’m so glad Lyric is excelling in a different environment!
I empathize as a Latina in higher ed, we are not widely represented either. Def something I have thought if as I apply for faculty positions.
Isiah Brown (Saturday, 13 July 2019 15:11)
You are truly an inspiration. I do hope more people take a the leap of faith to improve their quality of life experiences. Education and experience affords us lateral entry into other state economies, local and abroad. Seniority within companies works well too. Keep moving forward!
I am always touched by the message.
Paula Fuller (Wednesday, 10 July 2019 12:58)
I cannot truly express what it means to me to see your open, candid, and amazing embodiment of the human spirit. I hope that I can one day be in your presence to glean just a once of your confidence, fierceness, and wisdom. THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!!
J-Ram (Sunday, 07 July 2019 13:52)
Dr. Willis,
Really enjoy learning more about your journey. From saying "yes" to gotta move to find your new adventure, it is fun to read about the highs and lows that happen in everyone's life. For many of us POC we only see the final outcome, or learn about a person and read their accomplishments, and if we are lucky enough shake hands with them at a reception. But you sharing your thoughts, passions, regrets, and personal story really touched all if us at EvCC and those who have parted. Thank you!
I will add that Rihanna also sang the following lyrics "Took an oath that I'm a stick it out 'til the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh". Thank you for sharing your umbrella, Ella, eh!
James
Lisa Jones (Tuesday, 25 June 2019 12:10)
Hello Daria -
I am so thrilled to come across this blog and learn more about you! I am excited for you to join EvCC as our new president! I work within Corporate & Workforce Training out at CCEC. Looking forward to connecting soon.
Bonita Vinson (Tuesday, 25 June 2019 08:40)
Ahhh. Money. Personal financial empowerment. One of my favorite topics. So much so I wrote a book about it.
I’m so glad to see you bring up a topic only few discuss. And to relate it to career transitions is even better. This is true across any industry.
Your points are spot on (except for credit cards... I don’t like them and haven’t used anything except debit cards since 2006).
The big one though, is save up (a lot) and be prepared to pay your own way just in case other options are not optimal.
Congratulations and blessings to you as you continue your journey! I’ll be following your blog.
Chayuda (Wednesday, 24 April 2019 16:25)
I just want you to know that your presence this week at the college has empowered me to do more. You are truly really amazing, real and cool leader. I wish you the best.
Ciera Graham (Monday, 22 April 2019 13:06)
Hi Daria,
I hope all is well. It was such a pleasure to meet you during the forum at EvCC this morning. I loved your calming spirit, and welcoming disposition. I know today will be a long day for you but I know you will do amazing. I think you would be a breath of fresh air at EvCC and I would love to see a black woman leading this college. Not sure if you remember me but I am Ciera Graham. The new Director for the EvCC East County campus in Monroe , WA. We only briefly shook hands but I just wanted to send a note and say I was very impressed. Feel free to keep in touch cagraham1986@gmail.com or cgraham@everettcc.edu
Good luck, and I wish you all the best.